VGSources / Games / Size Five Games
association football video game
Behold the Kickmen
By Size Five Games, released 1 Jan 2017
- Microsoft Windows
- macOS
What it is
Behold the Kickmen is a single-player football game from Size Five Games, released in 2017 for Windows and macOS. It plays football for laughs, presenting the sport through the perspective of someone uninterested in its rules. Players begin at the bottom of a league progression and work through matches toward the World Cup. Its listed activities include kicking, passing, tackling, squad management, and scoring goals, alongside a story mode with melodramatic situations and decisions. The game can also be switched into a dystopian future bloodsport presentation. It has Steam Achievements, partial controller support, and Family Sharing. The game does not have online or local multiplayer, so it is strictly a solo experience. Size Five Games is both developer and publisher.
What players like, and what they don't
- Story mode with decisions
- Kicking, passing, and tackling
- Alternate bloodsport presentation
- Available for Windows and macOS
- Single-player only
- No online multiplayer
- No local multiplayer
- Partial controller support
Who it suits
It suits solo players who want a comedic take on football, with match progression, squad management, and story mode. The alternate bloodsport presentation may suit players who prefer that framing to conventional football.
Behold the Kickmen turns football into a comic, solo progression through matches, with squad management and a story mode. Its explicit lack of online and local multiplayer makes it a poor fit for anyone seeking shared play.
