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How to Change an NPC Sim’s Romantic Interest in The Sims 4

Change an NPC Sim’s orientation in CAS, then build a relationship separately if you want them to date your Sim.
WorldThe Sims 4 Length3 min Posted Quest giverVGSources Team
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To change which genders an NPC Sim can be romantically attracted to, edit the Sim in Create a Sim (CAS): open the three-dot menu beneath the gender icons, choose Sexual Orientation, and adjust the attraction and exploring settings. That changes the Sim’s orientation; it does not make the Sim start dating your Sim. You will still need to build a romantic relationship through gameplay.

Change the NPC’s sexual orientation in Create a Sim

EA documents the orientation controls in CAS, but does not provide one universal method for opening every unplayed NPC in CAS across all platforms and saves. Use the household or CAS access method available in your current game, then follow these settings:

  1. Open the target Sim in Create a Sim.
  2. Select the three-dot menu beneath the gender icons and choose Sexual Orientation.
  3. Under This Sim is romantically attracted to, choose men, women, both, or neither.
  4. Set This Sim is exploring romantically to Yes or No, then save the Sim and return to Live Mode.
  5. Try the relevant romantic interactions. The orientation setting affects attraction eligibility; it does not create an existing romance or relationship level.

EA explains that Sims set to No for exploring will not shift orientation through gameplay and will reject advances from genders they are not interested in. Sims set to explore may change orientation through romantic interactions. See EA’s sexual orientation guide for the setting details.

First identify what you want to change

Several Sims 4 settings can affect a romance, but they control different things. Changing the wrong one may not produce the outcome you want.

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Setting or system What it affects Where to look
Sexual Orientation Which genders a Sim is romantically attracted to, and whether that orientation can shift through gameplay. CAS > three-dot menu beneath the gender icons > Sexual Orientation.
Romantic Boundaries Which kinds of a partner’s romantic or sexual behavior trigger jealousy, and whether those triggers can change through conversation. CAS settings; separate from Sexual Orientation.
Romantic relationship level The level of romance between two particular Sims. It grows through interactions and can make further romantic interactions easier. Build it through interactions in Live Mode; editing orientation does not raise it.
Lovestruck Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs Preferences that shape attraction to traits and romance styles. These are additional systems, not the basic orientation selector. Requires the Lovestruck Expansion Pack.

For example, if the NPC is not attracted to your Sim’s gender, check Sexual Orientation. If the Sim is attracted but romance is not progressing, work on the relationship itself. If the issue is jealousy, review Romantic Boundaries instead. EA’s sexuality, romance, and attraction guide describes these settings separately.

If you want the NPC to date your Sim

Setting compatible orientations only makes romantic interactions possible; it does not establish a relationship with a particular Sim. Use romantic interactions to build the relationship. EA notes that a higher romantic relationship level can make romantic interactions easier; its Romance skill guide also distinguishes relationship progress from the Romance skill.

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  • Check the NPC’s Sexual Orientation if romantic advances are rejected because of gender compatibility.
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  • Review Romantic Boundaries if the concern is jealousy over a partner’s behavior, not whether the NPC is attracted to your Sim.
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What Lovestruck adds

The Lovestruck Expansion Pack adds Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs, Romance Dynamics, Romantic Satisfaction, and Cupid’s Corner. Cupid’s Corner is available to Young Adult, Adult, and Elder Sims—not Teen Sims—and its match pool takes sexual orientation and romantic or WooHoo preferences into account. These features can add dating and attraction options, but they are not required to edit the basic orientation setting. EA’s Cupid’s Corner guide and Lovestruck announcement describe the pack features.

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