Yes, a game about loss can help some people reflect on memories, name emotions and make meaning after bereavement—but it is not proven grief treatment. The strongest evidence so far is qualitative: players describe personal insight and connection, while some also use play to avoid painful feelings. Your response will depend on the kind of loss represented, the game’s intensity and what you need from play.
This guide explains what researchers have actually found, how games create space for grief, how to choose one responsibly and when to stop or seek additional support.
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What the evidence can—and cannot—say
Research on commercial games and grief is still small and exploratory. It documents reported experiences rather than a clinically measured reduction in grief symptoms. No controlled comparison of a commercial game with counseling or psychotherapy, and no reliable clinical effect size, was established in the available evidence.
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Eum and Doh (2023) studied 12 bereaved adults—six men and six women, ages 20 to 31—who played Bear’s Restaurant and Spiritfarer. Participants kept diaries and took part in interviews; the researchers then analyzed their accounts thematically. Seven meaning-making themes emerged:
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- Recalling memories: play brought past people, places or experiences to mind.
- Avoiding engagement with the pain: some sessions functioned as distraction rather than emotional processing.
- Recognizing positive emotions: players noticed gratitude, affection, relief or other feelings alongside sadness.
- Acknowledging the deceased’s perspective: fictional characters encouraged players to imagine what the person who died might have felt or wanted.
- Reviewing the meaning of loss: the game gave players a way to reconsider what the bereavement meant in their lives.
- Planning a better future: reflection sometimes turned toward goals, relationships or routines that could continue.
- Fulfilling a wish: players connected in-game actions with things they wished they had said, done or repaired.
The authors concluded that games can give bereaved players agency to reconstruct a narrative of loss and make it easier to share grief. That is evidence of possible helpful experiences, not proof that either title works for everyone.
What a broader review adds
An interdisciplinary 2024 preprint by Reay, Ma, Mankee-Williams, Pavarini, Shaughnessy and Bhui examined 14 commercial games. It argues that games combine audio, visual, verbal, haptic and mechanical forms to create metaphors for grief. Its central observation is: “Video games provide players with new metaphors to express and explore grief.”
The review also asks what those metaphors illuminate and what they hide. A game may make one aspect of bereavement vivid while simplifying another, and emotionally demanding scenes can overwhelm rather than clarify. The authors offer recommendations for therapists and developers, but the review is conceptual and analytical, not a clinical trial.
Other relevant work
- Sabine Harrer’s 2018 book, Games and Bereavement: How Video Games Represent Attachment, Loss, and Grief (Columbia University Press, 274-page paperback, ISBN 9783837644159), examines five videogames and a participatory design study with grievers.
- A 2024 study focused on Spiritfarer reported themes of addressing personal loss, emotional acceptance and letting go. It did not establish treatment efficacy.
- A 2021 systematic review and meta-analysis covers internet-based grief interventions generally. Its findings should not be treated as validation for a commercial entertainment game.
Why a game can feel different from watching a grief story
Games ask you to act, choose, wait, repeat and care for systems. That agency can turn an abstract theme into a personally paced experience.
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Agency and responsibility
When a game lets you guide a character, tend a place or decide when to say goodbye, your actions become part of the metaphor. You are not merely observing a loss; you are negotiating it through choices, routines and consequences. This can support a sense of authorship when real bereavement feels uncontrollable.
Metaphor at a safe distance
Fiction can provide enough distance to approach death, separation or change indirectly. A character’s farewell may prompt a memory without requiring you to describe that memory immediately. Distance is not automatically avoidance, however; the same metaphor can let someone stay away from feelings they are not ready to face.
Multiple channels of expression
Sound, music, color, dialogue, animation, controller feedback and game rules can communicate different emotional layers at once. A quiet soundtrack may evoke longing while a repetitive task conveys care or persistence. Because these channels work together, players sometimes find language for an experience that is difficult to explain in conversation.
Private reflection and shared conversation
Playing alone can create privacy for tears, memories or pauses. Sharing a game, discussing a scene with someone trusted or keeping a journal afterward can turn a private response into supported grieving. The Eum and Doh participants’ accounts show both personal meaning-making and the possibility of sharing grief; neither is guaranteed by the medium.
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Is Spiritfarer good for grief?
Spiritfarer is a prominent research example because its central play involves caring for characters, helping them complete personal tasks and accompanying them toward departure. Players and researchers have connected those mechanics with acceptance, personal loss and letting go.
That makes it a potentially meaningful reflective game, not a prescription. Its themes may resonate strongly with someone grieving a death and feel distant or painful to someone dealing with a different kind of loss. The game can also bring up memories unexpectedly. Check its content and your current capacity before playing, take breaks during intense sequences and avoid treating completion as a measure of whether you have “processed” grief.
What about Bear’s Restaurant?
Bear’s Restaurant was the other title in the 2023 study. Its story-based encounters gave participants material for recalling memories, considering the deceased person’s viewpoint and imagining wishes or unfinished conversations. The study does not show that the game produces the same response in a wider population, and it does not rank the two games.
How to choose a game about loss
Use the following questions before downloading or starting a title. They reflect the factors most likely to change a player’s experience.
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| Question | Why it matters | What to check |
|---|---|---|
| What kind of loss is represented? | Death, separation, illness and other life changes can evoke different memories. | Read a spoiler-light description and identify whether the central loss resembles yours. |
| How intense is the content? | Sudden death, suicide, traumatic loss or serious illness can be destabilizing. | Look for content warnings, age ratings and player discussions that identify difficult scenes. |
| How much agency do you have? | Choices and caregiving tasks may support reflection; highly scripted scenes may feel less controllable. | Check whether you make meaningful decisions, set the pace or mainly watch. |
| Will you play alone or with others? | Solitary play offers privacy; shared play can provide connection and a chance to talk. | Consider co-op, streaming, discussion groups or a trusted person nearby. |
| Is it accessible on your platform? | Technical friction can add stress when you are already emotionally taxed. | Verify platform, controls, subtitles, text size, audio options, save system and refund rules. |
| What do you want today? | Reflection, distraction and connection are different goals. | Choose a gentle activity when you need rest; choose a reflective story only when you have capacity. |
A safer way to play when you are grieving
- Set an intention. Decide whether this session is for comfort, distraction, remembering or exploring a feeling. Any of those can be valid; naming the goal helps you notice when the game is doing something else.
- Preview the content. Check warnings for death, illness, suicide, traumatic loss and sudden bereavement. If details are unclear, start with a short session rather than committing to a long game.
- Choose a time and place with an exit. Avoid beginning an intense chapter immediately before work, sleep or an obligation. Keep the pause, quit and save commands easy to reach.
- Play in small intervals. After a scene involving loss, stop at a natural break and notice your body, mood and thoughts. Hydrate, breathe slowly or step outside if you feel flooded.
- Record what surfaced. A few sentences about a memory, emotion or question can preserve insight without forcing a complete interpretation. You can also talk with someone you trust.
- Review the effect, not your performance. Ask whether you feel more connected, understood or settled—or simply more distressed or numb. There is no score for grieving correctly.
- Change activities when needed. A puzzle, walk, familiar show or ordinary social contact may be more supportive on a difficult day than a grief-focused narrative.
When play becomes avoidance or makes distress worse
A game can provide healthy respite, and respite is not a failure to grieve. Concern arises when playing is the only way you can prevent feelings from appearing, when sessions repeatedly displace sleep or relationships, or when you feel compelled to continue despite escalating distress.
- Pause if you experience intensifying panic, intrusive memories, dissociation, hopelessness or physical symptoms that do not settle after stopping.
- Switch to a less emotionally charged game if the subject matter keeps reopening the same wound without giving you recovery time.
- Do not use a game’s ending as a deadline for your grief. Finishing a story cannot complete bereavement on your behalf.
- If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, stop playing and seek immediate help through local emergency services or a crisis service in your country.
When to involve a grief counselor or mental-health professional
Consider professional support if severe distress persists, daily functioning is deteriorating, sleep and appetite remain significantly disrupted, or grief is accompanied by dangerous thoughts, substance-related risk or inability to stay safe. A qualified clinician can help you decide whether a game is useful as an adjunct and can offer approaches a commercial title cannot provide.
Bring up the game honestly in counseling: describe the scenes, memories and emotions it triggered rather than presenting it as a treatment you must defend. A therapist may help you distinguish reflection from avoidance and adapt the activity to your needs.
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Common questions
Can playing about death make grief easier?
It can make some aspects of grief easier to approach by offering metaphors, agency and a paced way to revisit memories. It can also intensify pain or function as distraction. The available studies support possibility, not a universal effect.
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Are games about losing someone a replacement for counseling?
No. The evidence concerns personal reports and thematic interpretation, not demonstrated clinical treatment. Games may be optional reflective media or coping activities alongside appropriate care.
Do I have to choose a game that resembles my exact loss?
No. Similarity can create recognition, but an indirect story may feel safer. Decide based on your current emotional capacity, the content warnings and whether the game’s mechanics fit your goal.
What if I cry or feel worse while playing?
Stop at a safe point, ground yourself and contact someone supportive. If distress keeps escalating or includes dangerous thoughts, seek professional or emergency help rather than trying to push through the game.
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No evidence supports a universally effective title. Responses vary with the person, relationship, type of loss, timing, accessibility needs and expectations. Spiritfarer and Bear’s Restaurant are research examples, not prescriptions.
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