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friendshipPATCH 2026.10.18

Stardew Valley Friendship Decay: When Hearts Go Down and How to Stop It

By VGSources Team 7 min read

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Yes—but it depends on the relationship. Simply failing to talk to a villager can reduce friendship, while a disliked or hated gift can cause a larger immediate loss. Most villagers stop passive decay at their friendship cap, but a spouse is the major exception: a married partner continues losing friendship when you do not make contact, even at 14 hearts.

The rules below apply to the friendship meter and heart display; passive decay does not make an NPC independently break up with you. Dating, jealousy, wilted bouquets and divorce have separate consequences.

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The friendship-decay rules at a glance

Each in-game day without talking to a villager can apply a small friendship loss. A telephone call does not count as talking. The stopping point depends on whether the character is an ordinary villager, an undated marriage candidate, a dating candidate or your spouse.

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Relationship state Passive change without contact When passive decay stops
Married spouse 20 friendship points per day It does not stop, including at 14 hearts
Marriage candidate after a bouquet 10 points per day At 10 hearts
Marriage candidate before a bouquet 2 points per day At 8 hearts
Non-romanceable villager 2 points per day At 10 hearts

These values are the friendship-table mechanics listed by the Stardew Valley Wiki on its Friendship, Marriage, Bouquet and Wilted Bouquet pages, checked October 13, 2026. They are game rules, not real-world measurements. A normal full-heart friendship therefore usually stays full, but “full hearts never go down” is not correct for marriage.

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What happens with ordinary villagers

For a resident you are not dating, friendship can drift down while you ignore them, but the meter has a ceiling. Once the character reaches the ordinary-villager cap, passive decay no longer pushes the meter lower. The official Stardew Valley site describes more than 30 residents available to befriend, so this rule covers most of the town.

Talking on any day prevents that day’s no-contact loss. The conversation does not need to be long, and you do not need to give a present merely to preserve a capped friendship. If you are maintaining several relationships, a quick route through homes, shops and work locations is enough; the game checks whether you made contact, not whether you held a particular conversation.

Marriage candidates before and after dating

Before you give a bouquet

Marriage candidates have a lower pre-dating ceiling than ordinary villagers. You can build the relationship to the point where the character is ready for a romantic step, but passive decay is limited by that pre-bouquet cap. This prevents an undated candidate from endlessly losing hearts below the normal dating threshold simply because you missed a few days.

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After you give a bouquet

A bouquet changes the relationship state. Pierre’s letter explains the intended progression: “It seems like you’re starting to get close with some of the townspeople. If you want to show someone that you’re romantically interested, you’ve got to give them one of my beautiful flower bouquets. I’m selling them now, for a very fair price! If you want to start a family someday, this is the first step!”

You can give a bouquet once a marriage candidate reaches eight hearts. It signals romantic interest, unlocks the dating state and lets the heart meter rise to ten hearts. Unlike the pre-bouquet state, this relationship can also lose friendship while you leave the candidate unattended, up to that ten-heart limit.

The bouquet is not a permanent protection against decay. If you want to keep a dating relationship stable, continue speaking with the candidate or accept the risk of gradual loss between visits.

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Why a spouse is different

Marriage removes the stopping threshold for passive decay. A spouse can reach 14 hearts, but the friendship meter still loses points on days when you do not make contact. The loss is substantially larger than the ordinary-villager or undated-candidate rule, so a spouse needs ongoing attention even after the relationship display looks complete.

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Daily conversation is the simplest safeguard. A spouse can also receive a gift every day, and the normal friendship gain or loss from that gift is halved for a spouse. That halving affects deliberate gifts; it does not cancel the separate no-contact decay.

Passive decay is not an automatic breakup system. Ignoring your spouse does not cause the NPC to decide to leave on their own. It lowers the friendship value, which can affect the number of hearts shown and the tone of interactions, while the marriage itself remains in place unless you choose a separate action such as divorce.

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Gifts can lower friendship immediately

A present is evaluated by the recipient’s preference. In the base gift table, a disliked item removes 20 friendship points and a hated item removes 40. Item quality and special occasions can modify the result, so those base figures are not a universal result for every gift situation. Birthday and event multipliers can make the same item produce a different change.

Before giving an unfamiliar item, check whether the villager likes it. If your objective is merely to prevent passive decay, talking is safer than experimenting with a gift. A bad present can erase more progress in one action than several missed conversations.

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Dating, jealousy and breakup actions

Wilted bouquet

A wilted bouquet ends the dating relationship and drops the candidate to five hearts. The character can still be spoken to and given gifts afterward, so this is a relationship reset rather than a permanent ban on interaction. It is distinct from simply failing to talk: ordinary no-contact decay does not itself end dating.

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Spouse jealousy

Jealousy is a separate penalty that can occur after marriage. The condition described by the Stardew Valley Wiki is giving a non-hated gift to a same-gender marriage candidate who previously accepted a bouquet. Depending on the day’s luck, the chance is 20–40 percent. If jealousy triggers, the spouse loses 30 friendship points. Birthday gifts are exempt from the jealousy rule described there.

Because the trigger involves another character’s dating history, the safest routine is to avoid casual gifts to former or current bouquet recipients when you are married, unless you have checked the jealousy conditions. Talking to villagers does not create this penalty.

Divorce

Filing for divorce costs 50,000g. You can cancel the filing on the same day; if you let it proceed, the ex-spouse returns to zero hearts and will not accept gifts. A late-game option at the Witch’s Hut can erase an ex-spouse’s memory for 30,000g, which is a separate action from filing the divorce and from ordinary friendship recovery.

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From dating to marriage

The bouquet is the dating milestone, not the marriage proposal. After dating, the proposal uses a Mermaid’s Pendant. Mayor Lewis describes the tradition in his letter: “I’m going to give you this advice because I like you and I want you to stay in Pelican Town. If there comes a day that you want to ask for someone’s hand in marriage, you’ll need to give them a ‘Mermaid’s Pendant’. Don’t worry, everyone in Pelican Town understands the significance of the amulet. It’s an ancient tradition in this region. Good luck!”

The official game site identifies 12 townsfolk as dateable. Each candidate follows the relationship-state rules above: an undated candidate has the pre-bouquet cap, dating begins after the bouquet, and marriage creates the spouse exception.

A practical routine for keeping hearts from dropping

  1. Talk during your normal daily route. Visit the villager in a shop, home, workplace or outdoor area and complete a conversation. Do not rely on the telephone; calls do not satisfy the talking requirement.
  2. Prioritize spouses. Married partners continue passive decay after the apparent maximum, so put a spouse at the top of your route rather than assuming 14 hearts is permanent.
  3. Use known gifts. Give items with a confirmed positive preference, especially on birthdays or events where the game applies a multiplier. If you are uncertain, skip the gift and talk instead.
  4. Track relationship state. An undated candidate, a bouquet partner and a spouse have different decay behavior. The same missed week therefore has different consequences depending on who the recipient is.
  5. Investigate sudden drops. A sharp change is more likely to come from a disliked or hated gift, jealousy or a deliberate breakup action than from one missed conversation. Check your recent actions before assuming the game removed hearts at random.

What to do when the heart meter has already fallen

  • For an ordinary villager: resume conversations and use liked gifts to rebuild the meter; passive decay will stop again at that character’s cap.
  • For an undated candidate: restore the relationship to the pre-bouquet threshold before expecting further romantic progress.
  • For a dating candidate: continue talking and gifting appropriately. A wilted bouquet is not required to recover from ordinary decay and would instead end the dating state.
  • For a spouse: make contact consistently, avoid gifts that could trigger jealousy, and remember that the meter can fall again whenever contact stops.
  • After divorce: ordinary gifts will not work while the ex-spouse is at zero hearts and refusing presents. The memory-erasure option at the Witch’s Hut is the specific late-game method for changing that post-divorce state.

The short answer to common scenarios

Scenario Result
You stop talking to a non-romanceable villager at full friendship No further passive loss once the ordinary-villager cap has been reached.
You stop talking to an undated marriage candidate at the cap No further passive loss beyond the pre-bouquet limit.
You stop talking to someone after giving a bouquet Dating friendship can decline until the ten-heart limit.
You stop talking to your spouse at 14 hearts Friendship continues to decline; marriage does not automatically end.
You give a disliked or hated gift Immediate friendship loss based on the gift table, with occasion and quality modifiers where applicable.
You call by telephone instead of visiting The call does not count as the day’s conversation.

The decisive question is therefore not simply whether the display says “full hearts.” It is which relationship state the character occupies. Ordinary villagers and undated candidates have passive-decay caps, dating candidates can decay up to their dating cap, and spouses continue to lose friendship until you maintain contact.

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friendshipGame MechanicsMarriageNPCsStardew Valley

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