The “old Modern staple” in MTG’s SpongeBob SquarePants bonus-card story is Dismember. A March 2025 report identified it among four SpongeBob-themed bonus cards buyers had found. The bonus was described as random across the three Secret Lair drops—not a card guaranteed with any particular product.
Which SpongeBob Secret Lair bonus cards were reported?
Draftsim reported on March 31, 2025 that buyers had found SpongeBob-themed versions of four cards: Command Tower, Dismember, Counterspell, and Smothering Tithe. The report said the bonus card appeared randomly across the three drops. It did not publish insertion rates, so there is no established way to calculate the odds of finding any one card.
Dismember is the likely card referenced as an “old Modern staple”: Draftsim specifically described it as seeing play in Modern, Legacy, and Vintage. That identifies the card, but does not establish how frequently it appears in current Modern decks.
How did the bonus cards differ from the fixed drop contents?
Wizards of the Coast’s March 24, 2025 announcement lists the cards included in each of the three SpongeBob Secret Lair products. Those lists are the fixed contents; the announcement does not list a bonus card as guaranteed in any drop. The bonus-card pool and random distribution were described separately in Draftsim’s report.
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- After appearing in over 300 episodes across 15 seasons (and on countless birthday cakes), SpongeBob has finally surfaced from Bikini Bottom and entered Secret Lair.
| Drop | Fixed contents listed by Wizards | Launch price listed by Wizards |
|---|---|---|
| Legends of Bikini Bottom | Seven cards: Plankton as Skrelv, Mr. Krabs as Charix, Squidward as Grazilaxx, Gary as Toxrill, Sandy as Toski, Patrick as Barktooth Warbeard, and SpongeBob as Jodah | $29.99 USD non-foil or $39.99 USD rainbow foil |
| Internet Sensation | Counterspell, Daze, Inevitable Betrayal, Force of Despair, Night’s Whisper, and a Food token | $29.99 USD non-foil or $39.99 USD rainbow foil |
| Lands Under the Sea | Ten basic lands: two of each basic land type | $29.99 USD non-foil or $39.99 USD rainbow foil |
Contents and launch prices are from Wizards of the Coast’s March 24, 2025 announcement. Those prices are historical launch prices, not current market prices or confirmation that the products remain available.
Was Dismember guaranteed with a particular drop?
No guarantee is established. Draftsim described the four reported variants as random across the three products, without assigning a specific bonus to Legends of Bikini Bottom, Internet Sensation, or Lands Under the Sea. The official fixed-content lists do not name any bonus card. Treat Dismember—and the other reported variants—as possible bonus finds, not promised contents.
Quick Recap
Best Value
- At MTG Decks & More we have over 50 years combined experience playing games including D&D, Magic the Gathering, and dozens of other table and board games. We use this experience with many hundreds of different games and gaming accessories over the decades to select only the highest quality products for sale. For sale is the exclusive secret lair drop: Featuring: Phoebe Wahl (Foil Edition)
- Award-winning illustrator and children’s book author Phoebe Wahl offers us a glimpse into the simple pleasures of pastoral life with scenes of friendly faerie folk passing their idyllic days in comfort and belonging. Each card tells its own story—and we want to hear them all.
- Contents: 1x (foil) Swords to Plowshares, 1x (foil) Faerie Artisans, 1x (foil) Dockside Chef, 1x (foil) Alela, Artful Provocateur, 1x (foil) Door of Destinies
Rank #4
- FOR THE FIRST TIME – the survivors from Prime Video’s Fallout series make their debut with new - to-Magic designs
- LUCY MACLEAN, POSITIVELY ARMED – brings her optimism to the battlefield with The Golden Rule, a once-per-turn ability that lets you trade token favors for card draw
- THE GHOUL, GUNSLINGER – feeds on death itself, stacking up rad counters to mill or wipe out opponents—or, if you’re feeling bold, take that radiation yourself for extra resources
- MAXIMUS, KNIGHT APPARENT – ever the true believer, turns scrap into strength, fueling up on energy as he powers up his own T-60 Power Armor
- CONTAINS – 6 Magic: The Gathering cards in non-foil
Rank #3
- At MTG Decks & More we have over 50 years combined experience playing games including D&D, MTG, and dozens of other table and board games. We use this experience with many hundreds of different games and gaming accessories over the decades to select only the highest quality products for sale. For sale is the exclusive secret lair drop: Secret Lair x Sponge Bob SquarePants: Lands Under the Sea (Foil Edition)
- Embark on a guided tour of five deep-sea destinations from the underwater world of SpongeBob SquarePants. From Bikini Bottom to Jellyfish Fields and beyond, this set of barnacle-covered basic lands features art by Jon Vermilyea and showcases some of the liveliest locales and tidal territories that SpongeBob and friends call home.
- Contents: 2x foil Plains, 2x foil Island, 2x foil Swamp, 2x foil Mountain, 2x foil Forest
Rank #2
- Superstar of the Seas. Underwater Icon. Phylum Porifera Phenomenon.
What should collectors consider?
- For the SpongeBob art: choose among the three drops by their listed fixed contents and theme; the bonus variant is uncertain.
- For Dismember specifically: a Secret Lair drop is not a reliable way to obtain it, because no insertion rate or guaranteed product pairing was reported.
- For play: the report establishes Dismember’s connection to Modern, Legacy, and Vintage play, but offers no current deck-usage figures.
- For price: the listed $29.99 and $39.99 amounts refer to the products’ 2025 launch prices; the sources do not establish present availability or resale values.
Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply.
